Making The British Invasion Pt. 1

Unsettled

So I've realized that my blog, which used to consist of music, pop culture happenings, and randomness, has slowly evolved into a open diary. I'm not mad at it either. I guess it's a way for people to really know what's going on in my world besides my ongoing pursuit of music dominance. Well with that said, I'm a bit unsettled. I'm happy, but unsettled. It's also a momentary thing because I'm pretty sure that within an hour or so, I'll be cool. However at 5:17 on Monday, December 7, I have a lot of unanswered questions running through my head. Unfortunately, I won't ask because they're intended for only a few specific individuals. That's where I'm at........

Random Thoughts.......

-People take Facebook waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too seriously; deleting you because of their association to another person. We're not in grade school folks!
-My attraction to Keri Hilson would mean nothing if she wasn't understanding
-Peace to the homie Amir, who I had a great night building with. Steven too
-Alcohol can bring the truth out of people
-"I see I said"
-My 1st video diary may either offend or hurt someone
-Peace to Bille & Jay of MadONLY
-I'm excited about releasing The British Invasion
-Silver is the next big producer in music!! Mark my words...
-I appreciate all my people that ride out with me
-It's unfortunate people no longer respect the brilliant writing of The Simpsons because they're Family Guy'd out!!
-I'll soon be able to announce news that with make people either hate, envy, regret they tried to play me, or be incredibly proud
-Shouts to my new manager; we're taking this "to the bank"
-"to the rest of y'all throwing shots at Shake/ You only get half a bar, FUCK y'all fakes"

I don't know if I can....

It Desreves To Be...

documented. My homie, Junie of NQM, & I let out an emotional back and forth freestyle via Facebook. This is what we can up with

Me: "matters of heart can feel like plane crash / 1st you high, then you caught up in flame's wrath/ the fall of dynasties like Jay-Z and Dame Dash/ guess I was high off the fumes of the plane's gas"

Junie: ""if life is like blinking / then i won't / they say i gotta live it like my last / but i don't / not afraid but too preoccupied / what with i want to do / not thinking about that everyday drive / that i take / mentally, no break / took a gable without goodbye / shouldn't bet the high stakes"

Me: "I should've settled for a slice of the pie-cake/ instead I wanted it all, and now I ache/ I cry, but I admit that I make/ mistakes just like rest of them, I'm just a man/ so why can't you accept that I'll adjust the plan/ correct my wrongs through record-songs/"

Junie: cause at least i cant lie when the mics on
life got its hand around my neck
squeezing it out like a python
i think better when i stop time
cause only then i can press rewind...

Me: "but I fight to move fast forward/ if it's venus vs mars, I'm pass orbit/ I guess this is life's lesson in crash courses/ I wasn't prepared for the ride, nor the fast horses"

Junie: life's a Olympic race/every jump higher the last/hope to God i dont trip on a hurdle/standing in place on a shooting star/looking up like/i wanna be where you are/i can process from the rest where i'm going/one foot then the other/

Me: when I gaze at the stars, I look up at my mother/ I shouldn't be selfish, cause she doesn't have suffer/ in a weird way, it even made me tougher/ tougher than leather like RUN DMC/ I realize in life, you can't run with your feet/ so I run with my heart and I'm baring my soul/ and I soar with my with wings, leaving my fears in the cold

Relevance

One of my closest friends just lost her grandmother. I know it's heart-wrenching. At moments like these, we're forced to look at the roles people play in our lives and their relevance. I'm a firm believer that most people don't realize what they have until it's gone. I never understood why it would take losing something to appreciate that same thing. Truth is, I'm guilty of it too. However, I think once I lost my mom, my entire perspective changed. But even though I learned one of life's toughest lesson's, I find myself in the remedial refresher course more often than I'd like. I guess the real lesson wasn't so much about never taking things for granted rather than being mindful. So I get it. I think I may have even passed the class with a decent grade, but the real question is, did you?

So to my homie, my heart goes out to you. I understand, and you've got a great support system besides myself to hold you down. To the others that may read this, don't let a bad circumstance remind you of what you've got. Lauryn Hill said "Tell'em...tell'em you love them, tell'em you need them." Be mindful

A few of my close friends come to mind right now, and to y'all, I send the same message. I understand, and I'm rocking out with you. 1 L-O-V-E

PS: Listening to Kanye's "Say You Will"

Ode to Keri

Sometime ago, I made a list of my favorite chicks, but I neglected someone. It's absolutely criminal that I could have forgotten her or kept her off my list, so shame on me. If you don't know who I'm talking about it, it's none other than the classiest chick in the game to me right now, Keri Hilson. Oh Keri... You're my favorite. No disrespect to the other beautiful chicks in the game, but something about your swag speaks to me. You're so stylish and you have a 3 finger ring too!!! I <3 you

Compromise

The one thing I've truly learned about relationships over the past few years is that they take compromise. Not that easy, "you don't like it when.." type of compromise, but rather that real "I have to look at myself introspectively and possibly change" compromise. Relationships aren't easy whether with significant others, family, or friends. Sometimes it's hard to look outside ourselves, let alone, accept out potential character flaws. However, if you value and appreciate the people arond you, you should. I've tried and I'm trying.

Overstanding

Earlier I peeped a tweet that said "being happy is a matter of being thankful". How true... I recently spoke to one of my many little sisters, and we were discussing how people can be ungrateful. I know we all take things for granted from time to time; it's human nature. However, one of the worst feeling ever is being taken for granted. So the next time someone does something for you; gives you advice, exercises their generosity, or turns the other cheek, be thankful. Be thankful that at every moment, you could be in a situation worse than your current one. Enjoy life...happiness is what you make it!!!

Moral Dilema

Today my character was tested. I received a message inquiring about someone I know, and I became the gateway to an opportunity for them. However this person and I no longer speak, and I believe their most recent actions have proven to be quite juvenile. Long story short, it was an issue of our personal drama versus their professional advancement. Without going into detail about either situation, I did what I felt was right.

I think deep down, my issue wasn't whether or not I would help, but would they ever do the same if put in a similar situation. Based on their recent actions, or lack thereof, I'd have to say no. However, as an adult, I'm aware that you shouldn't be motivated by returns on your personal/emotional investments, although most people are. In my previous entries, I've recently discussed searching for clarity and happiness while finding balance by following my instincts. I'd be lying if I said a part of me didn't think twice about shutting the situation down, but I knew it would be wrong. This is easily a scenario where my anger and resentment could have gotten the best of me, but I didn't let it. I say all of this because it taught me something about myself during an incredibly trying time.

By no means am I trying to pat myself on the back, nor do I feel I'll earn doble karma points for my actions. In this game we call life, we should do what is right because it is, and I was reminded of that today. This particular indiviual will likely never come across this post or even know how intergral I was in helping them get one of their biggest "looks" in recent memory. The thought that they'd probably never acknowledge or appreciate my role in this whole thing is a bit unsettling, but I'm happy for them nonetheless.

Clarity

For some time now, I've been very aware that certain thing in my life aren't straight. Not to say that's it's disorganized or in complete disarray, but I know some areas need tweaking. I think back in February I began my expedition to find both clarity and happiness. Unfortunately, some people were hurt along the way. It was the furthest thing from my intentions, but I've fully come to realize that you can't run away from your conscience. That little voice contributes so much to our character, and it won't lie to you. You can fight it, try to supress it, deny it, create alternate rationalities, and/ or continue with the fuckery, but that "truth" is inescapabale. So after doing all of the aforementioned, I've decided to attentively listen.

More and more I find myself following my gut. There have been quite a few instances where the people closest to me have disagreed with my actions, but no one is more aware of my feelings than I am. So instead of running away from those gut intstincts, I embrace them and run towards it. I'm in a different place now. I'm no longer in denial.

"I've got a ticket to success and it's one way. My plane is on the runway... I'm taking off with no baggage."

Truth...

In a previous blog entry, I used a quote which I think should be used again. So here it goes...

"Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time."
-- Sara Paddison

Here's another personal joint I never leaked

"Love Is Like A Movie" - DOWNLOAD